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And we are magic talking to itself, noisy and alone.
Anne Sexton
Let the truth blow like a hurricane through me.


joanieloveschachi
age. 23
gender. female
more info.
Deeper than bones.
Say shit, say death, say fuck the father,
Satan says, down my ear.
The pain of the locked past buzzes
in the child's box on her bureau, under
the terrible round pond eye
etched around roses, where
self-loathing gazed at sorrow.

excerpt from Satan Says by Sharon Olds
Life is not to fear...life is to enjoy


November 2008

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Current theme song.
song: Ghetto Gospel
artist: Tupac feat. Elton John

Hit 'em with a little ghetto gospel

[Chorus: Elton John]
Those who wish to follow me (My ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 1]
If I could recollect before my hood days
I'd sit and reminisce thinkin of bliss of the good days
I stop and stare at the younger my heart goes to 'em
They guessed it was stress that they under
And nowadays things changed
Everyone's ashamed of the youth
Cuz the truth look strange
And for me it's reversed
We left them a world that's cursed and it hurts
Cuz any day they'll push the button
And all good men like Malcolm X
and Bobby Hutton died for nothin
Don't it make you get teary, the world looks dreary
When you wipe your eyes see it clearly
There's no need for you to fear me
If you take your time to hear me
Maybe you can learn to cheer me
It ain't about black or white cuz we're human
I hope we see the light before it's ruined
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sound of guns

[Verse 2]
Tell me do you see that old lady, ain't it sad?
Livin outta bags
But she's glad for the little things she has
And over there there's a lady
Crack got her crazy
Guess who's givin birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it fade me
From outta the frying pan
We jump into another form of slavery
Even now I get discouraged
Wonder if they take it all back
Will I still keep the courage?
I refuse to be a role model
I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottles
I make mistakes but learn from every one
And when it's said and done
I bet this brotha be a better one
If I upset you don't stress
Never forget that God hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my brain
When I write rhymes I go blind and let the Lord do his thing
But am I less holy?
Cuz I took a puff of blunt and drink a beer with my homies
Before we find world peace
We gotta find peace and end the war on the streets
My Ghetto Gospel

[Chorus]
Those who wish to follow me (Yea, ghetto gospel)
I welcome with my hands
and the red sun sinks at last
into the hills of gold
And peace to this young warrior
Without the sounds of guns

Lord can you hear me speak?
Nothing burns the bridge, and then it burns.
Thursday. 7.28.05 12:26 pm
Suspension
Maggie Smith

Once you cross, as you must,
you cannot go back. There is nothing
to retrieve: when the bridge catches fire,

leave it all. Your hair, your hands
may be lit; if you take photographs
into your arms, they too will burn.

You can see the lights of the city
you left behind, but in miniature
from the distance, a diorama.

When the bridge falls, the smoke
of its scaffolding hangs in the air,
burning our eyes. This is architecture

in the new world: the mere shadow
of structure, the suspension bridge
refusing to suspend. To be light

enough to cross, you must be less
of yourself. Remove everything
down to your wristwatch.

Whittle yourself to transparency.
Cross the bridge as it burns, sparks
in the wisps of your hair, and don't

look back. It is already turning
to smoke. Soon it will not hold you.
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